Leaning on everylasting arms

Somedays it is just so hard to be human. I have felt like absolute crap all day. I spent half the day laying on the couch in terrible pain. I couldn't even sleep without the pain making it into my dreams.
I finally got up and took something for the pain. Over and hour later I could finally gt started on the stuff that I had been meaning to do earlier in the day but couldn't.
I had to put off hanging out with two good friends tonight because I felt so horrible.


I picked up the violin for the first time today. I love it. I wish I was feeling better so I could have played longer. I have a few more little technique things to fix but I think I sound pretty good for a beginner. It helps that it is so close to Mandolin and that I can read music all I have to work on really is finding the notes on the finger board and dong the bowing correctly.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling better so I can go to open gym with Aubrey and Amber. It is the weirdest thing coaching Aubrey now because she is more like a friend to me than a student.
I'm very excited about it though. It is looking like it could be one of the best classes of the week, and she is going to work out with me after the class. I am going to have her looking like a beast in no time.


I just noticed that I really don't have the deep sort of thoughts that I used to. Or if I do I never really talk about them, or write them. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. Maybe I am just not over thinking things anymore but rather trusting in God and waiting to be surprised by what He does. I thought I had so many things figured out last year and it was really hard when I ended up being incredibly wrong.


We leave for Puerto Rico in 46 days. I can't wait to see what God is going to do there. Sometimes it feels like no body here is really living for God and bringing about His kingdom. It gets tiring to live in a half world, like one part of your brain has to believe in God and His power being real for today. While another part of your brain is told to believe that it isn't for now or here but rather just for Sunday. (and heaven forbid you be passionate about it)
That sort of lifestyle is so hard for me. I have trouble separating parts of my life. That is why foreign language is hard for me, because I want to use it in day to day conversation and speak a sort of Franglish (French and English). I'm just loosing heart seeing so many people denying the very power they claim.


We have a meeting for it this Saturday for the trip. I have to give a 2 minute testimony. I am putting that off because for some reason I keep trying to convince myself that if I wing it the whole thing will turn out better. I'm not sure if that is possible. I suppose I should write up something and practice it at least once to make sure it is not too short or long.