For a while earlier this year I was really struggling with the whole free will versus pre-destination thing.
It really perplexed me and frustrated me. It called almost my entire belief in God into question.
It bothered me so much. I listened to a bunch of people's different opinions even my pastor. I honestly don't remember much of anything that they said.
I just stopped thinking about it because I figured that this was really not an important thing. Since I stopped thinking about it I seem to be figuring out what I really do think.
What I discovered is that I am definitely NOT a Calvinist. I do not believe in pre-destination.
Rather than go into crazy detail about it I just found one verse that kinda backs up what I think. (Besides there are still pieces I'm trying to mentally place together to support my view)
1 Timothy 2:4 "who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth"
Calvinism believes that people are predestined to be saved by excepting Christ as their savior and believing in His truth.
In the same sense this means that people would be predestined by God to go to hell. :O
I can't and will not believe that.
This verse says that God desires all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth.
Thus God wouldn't predestine someone to go to hell and then put in His book (the Bible which is what Christianity finds it's validity in) that He want people to choose Him and His truth. It doesn't line up at all.
This in itself drives away all the speculations and opinions I have heard to support predestination.
Maybe I will add to this another time but for now I'm off to bed.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Currently downloading music by Fleetwood Mac
I am home from Cali now. We got home at about 1:30 this morning. I started not feeling well when you were on our flight home. It doesn't make things feel like home if everytime I am here I seem to be sick or tired. Maybe it is God's way of keeping me from settling and getting to comfortable.
I laid low most of the day before going to work.
I got my work schedule for the next session and it looks like I will be working alot which is what I wanted. I really do love my job.
Today I was informed by my intermediate class that they like me because I am nice and an easy coach. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I guess it's not too bad. It's better than being a jerk and really tough.
In other news:
Last Friday I went to the library to look for a book that I wanted to read on the trip. They didn't have the book, but when my mom went to check out her book the lady working at the counter thing told me about this teenage reading week thing and asked if I wanted to sign up. I thought it was going to be one of those kid sort of things where you sign up to read for so many days and depending on what you read you would get a prize. The lady explained to me that it was just a drawing for the teenagers of the library as a sort of thank you (or something like that).
Considering my track record with drawing (I have won 3 out of 3) I figured I should give it a try.
SO naturally I filled out the little sheet and put it in the box. The lady then gave me this bag of goodies.
That's Right!!!!! I got goodies just or being a "Teenager".
I didn't think it could get much better, but when I got home there was a message from the library on the answering machine saying that my name was pulled 3rd.
Thus I got a prize!!! It is the greatest thing just about ever. It is this machine that looks like a bug, and where its antenna would be are these wires that do look like antennas and the top is curled so you can put pics in it. There is a place to wind it in the back and when you wind it the whole thing vibrates and sort of bumps around. It is SOOO COOL!!!!! You should ask me to sho you sometime. I totally will.
That is my cool news. Now I am going to go take something before my head explodes. Maybe I will break out the snuggie too.
I am home from Cali now. We got home at about 1:30 this morning. I started not feeling well when you were on our flight home. It doesn't make things feel like home if everytime I am here I seem to be sick or tired. Maybe it is God's way of keeping me from settling and getting to comfortable.
I laid low most of the day before going to work.
I got my work schedule for the next session and it looks like I will be working alot which is what I wanted. I really do love my job.
Today I was informed by my intermediate class that they like me because I am nice and an easy coach. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I guess it's not too bad. It's better than being a jerk and really tough.
In other news:
Last Friday I went to the library to look for a book that I wanted to read on the trip. They didn't have the book, but when my mom went to check out her book the lady working at the counter thing told me about this teenage reading week thing and asked if I wanted to sign up. I thought it was going to be one of those kid sort of things where you sign up to read for so many days and depending on what you read you would get a prize. The lady explained to me that it was just a drawing for the teenagers of the library as a sort of thank you (or something like that).
Considering my track record with drawing (I have won 3 out of 3) I figured I should give it a try.
SO naturally I filled out the little sheet and put it in the box. The lady then gave me this bag of goodies.
That's Right!!!!! I got goodies just or being a "Teenager".
I didn't think it could get much better, but when I got home there was a message from the library on the answering machine saying that my name was pulled 3rd.
Thus I got a prize!!! It is the greatest thing just about ever. It is this machine that looks like a bug, and where its antenna would be are these wires that do look like antennas and the top is curled so you can put pics in it. There is a place to wind it in the back and when you wind it the whole thing vibrates and sort of bumps around. It is SOOO COOL!!!!! You should ask me to sho you sometime. I totally will.
That is my cool news. Now I am going to go take something before my head explodes. Maybe I will break out the snuggie too.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I am Nick Jonas' girlfriend too! :P
Currently listening to: Simon and Garfunkel , The Boxer
Tonight was my last night of work for the week. I am going to be out of state (to California) from Sat - Wed, thus making tonight my last night.
I tonight and last night I had to stay an hour after just to fill out my evaluations. I didn't realize how many kids I really do teach until I started filling out evaluations. Two hours in all to do them all.
My boss paid me for one of the two hours which was more than I expected.
While I was teaching tonight this girl I coach , Kelly, told me that Nick Jonas was her boyfriend.
Alittle while later we were on break and someone started the topic of what they want to be when they grow up.
It just got so funny.
Kelly: I just want to be Nick's (nick Jonas) girlfriend, that is all I can think of.
Me: Maybe you should aim at being his wife that way he doesn't break up with you and you are stuck.
Audrey: If you did break up you could marry a Hobo.
If someone I really liked broke up with me I would marry a hobo, as long as he wasn't a creepy one that would kill me.
I just wish you could have heard this conversation. It was the best. So funny.
Well I'm going to my room to do something.. My mom sort of ruined my night time routine by getting out of bed and ruining my quiet chill time.
Happiness is a recently tuned mandolin. I tuned it today and It was beautiful.
Tonight was my last night of work for the week. I am going to be out of state (to California) from Sat - Wed, thus making tonight my last night.
I tonight and last night I had to stay an hour after just to fill out my evaluations. I didn't realize how many kids I really do teach until I started filling out evaluations. Two hours in all to do them all.
My boss paid me for one of the two hours which was more than I expected.
While I was teaching tonight this girl I coach , Kelly, told me that Nick Jonas was her boyfriend.
Alittle while later we were on break and someone started the topic of what they want to be when they grow up.
It just got so funny.
Kelly: I just want to be Nick's (nick Jonas) girlfriend, that is all I can think of.
Me: Maybe you should aim at being his wife that way he doesn't break up with you and you are stuck.
Audrey: If you did break up you could marry a Hobo.
If someone I really liked broke up with me I would marry a hobo, as long as he wasn't a creepy one that would kill me.
I just wish you could have heard this conversation. It was the best. So funny.
Well I'm going to my room to do something.. My mom sort of ruined my night time routine by getting out of bed and ruining my quiet chill time.
Happiness is a recently tuned mandolin. I tuned it today and It was beautiful.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
What do I know of Holy?
Currently listening to : Simon and Garfunkel - A hazy shade of Winter
Today I filled out my application for the missions trip to Puerto Rico. It is now just a matter of raising the funds.
I'm excited about this. The only problem is when I get excited to travel somewhere I have trouble focusing on everything else.
I realized something tonight while I was driving home from work.
When I loose sight of Christ for even a second my life seems so grim. I start to get frustrated with so much. With my how I work all the time yet have absolutely no money. How my gymnasts will randomly decide to not listen to me for no reason. How I was so close with some people at this time last year and now I never talk to them. (one person in particular makes it hurt the most)
I know that loosing some relationships was a long time coming, but one I never saw coming. I'm still not sure if it is over or if we are just to busy. All it took to snap me out of this self pitying place was changing the radio station. I put it on something God glorifying and was immediately excited about what God was doing in my life and really I became happy with who he simply was.
Just keeping my focus brought me peace and helped me to realize really how in control He is.
Well I'm not sure what else to say other than stating how excited I am for Christmas. :]
Today I filled out my application for the missions trip to Puerto Rico. It is now just a matter of raising the funds.
I'm excited about this. The only problem is when I get excited to travel somewhere I have trouble focusing on everything else.
I realized something tonight while I was driving home from work.
When I loose sight of Christ for even a second my life seems so grim. I start to get frustrated with so much. With my how I work all the time yet have absolutely no money. How my gymnasts will randomly decide to not listen to me for no reason. How I was so close with some people at this time last year and now I never talk to them. (one person in particular makes it hurt the most)
I know that loosing some relationships was a long time coming, but one I never saw coming. I'm still not sure if it is over or if we are just to busy. All it took to snap me out of this self pitying place was changing the radio station. I put it on something God glorifying and was immediately excited about what God was doing in my life and really I became happy with who he simply was.
Just keeping my focus brought me peace and helped me to realize really how in control He is.
Well I'm not sure what else to say other than stating how excited I am for Christmas. :]
Saturday, October 3, 2009
I'm at this point now where I am so anxious to go and move forward in life.
I don't find anything wrong with this feeling, it is rather an exciting feeling.
I feel like I am being dis-content feeling this way though. Like I am unable to be happy with the great life I have.
It's not like I am not content here but rather that would be the easy thing to do. To live here, and keep my same job and friends and do the same things. That's not good enough for me.
I'm not really sure where I am going with this......
Night
I don't find anything wrong with this feeling, it is rather an exciting feeling.
I feel like I am being dis-content feeling this way though. Like I am unable to be happy with the great life I have.
It's not like I am not content here but rather that would be the easy thing to do. To live here, and keep my same job and friends and do the same things. That's not good enough for me.
I'm not really sure where I am going with this......
Night
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